The Assumption of External Motivation
In previous posts, I've alluded to the fact that graduate school was a really bad experience for me in many ways. After thinking about how to approach this topic here, I decided that instead of doing one all consuming post about everything that went wrong in graduate school I want to break it down to focus on each piece that came together to make a mental health disaster.
One thing I want to acknowledge is that there was a faculty member or two who did me no harm during my graduate school career. The problem was more systemic than individual. Although some individuals played a huge role, that will be a follow up post. What I want to focus on in this post is the intangible culture that permeated my graduate program. Program culture, and to a larger extent the culture of academia, is a really difficult topic specifically because culture is so intangible and therefore it can be difficult to grasp and change.
After a lot of reflection on my graduate school experience one thing I've identified as particularly damaging is the "assumption of external motivation" approach to mentorship that was the cultural norm in our program. Allow me to explain what I mean through pop culture below.
Let's all think back to the Disney Channel Original hit The Suite Life of Zack and Cody. In one episode studious Cody and his less bookish brother Zack both do poorly on a test. When Zack tells his mother about his grad she is angry and threatens consequences if he doesn't take his studies more seriously. When Cody tells his mother about his bad grade she immediately becomes concerned and says "Oh, honey, I'll make cookies!" Zack and Cody's Mom knows that the way her two kids operate is different. Zack externally motivated for school, and so he needs clear boundaries and consequences to be successful. Since school isn't intrinsically important to him, he needs his stress level raised just a bit to operate at an optimal level.
For those of you who are visual learners, check out the graphic below:
Cody is internally motivated to do well in school and his already internally berating himself for failure. His mother knows that in order for Cody to be successful he needs comfort and soothing. If the same external pressure is applied to Cody that is applied to Zack , Cody will struggle. See below:
The vast majority of graduate students are Cody. One doesn't make it to the doctoral level often without being internally motivated for school and being excited and motivated to learn. Unfortunately, the cultural norm- at least in my graduate program- has been to treat all students as if they are Zack. The consent underlying current of disapproval for less than optimal performance crushes natural curiosity, and pushes motivated people into a level of stress (as shown in the above graphic) that is conducive to burn out and mental illness.
In order to make graduate school a healthier place, I think we need to shift the culture to comfort and care when graduate students are not performing optimally, and dismantle the notion that this means they aren't being held to a high standard. Graduate students hold themselves to a high standard. Offering comfort and care when these ambitious standards aren't met will ultimately enable graduate students to do their best. And you know, not become angry bloggers.
Until next time!
Ashley
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